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Apparently, the Universe Arranged Television

This morning, I decided to take my dogs to the dog park before it got too hot.

Nothing fancy. Nothing planned.

Actually, I had very deliberately decided not to get ready.

No makeup.

Didn’t do my hair.

And I decided I wasn’t wearing a bra.

Just me, my dogs, and a peaceful little morning walk.

You know those days when you think, I don’t need to look a certain way. I’m just going to exist exactly as I am?

Well.

Apparently the universe heard me.

Because I got to the dog park and…

THE NEWS WAS THERE.

Of course they were.

Camera and all.

And suddenly I became extremely aware of every carefree decision I had made that morning.

No makeup.

Hair undone.

No bra.

Fantastic.

😂

My first instinct was discomfort. I didn’t want a camera pointed anywhere near me.

But here’s the interesting part:

I stayed.

I didn’t turn around.

I didn’t rush home.

I didn’t decide my dogs had miraculously gotten enough exercise in the first thirty-seven seconds.

I just kept walking.

And somewhere along the way, I realized how hilariously perfect the whole thing was.

Because one of the things I’ve been learning is how to become more comfortable being seen exactly as I am.

Apparently, the universe decided we needed to test that theory.

Universe:

“Oh, we’re practicing being comfortable being seen exactly as we are today?”

Perfect. I have arranged television.

Me:

“I meant, like… emotionally.”

Universe:

“Nope. Local news.”

😂

Sometimes growth has absolutely no subtlety.

But underneath the humour was something I actually needed to recognize.

Being seen doesn’t require being prepared.

I don’t have to wait until my hair is done.

I don’t have to put on makeup.

I don’t have to feel completely confident.

And I don’t have to become some future version of myself who never feels awkward, self-conscious, exposed, or afraid.

Sometimes courage is much quieter than that.

Sometimes courage is simply noticing:

I’m uncomfortable.

And then continuing to walk.

Maybe growth isn’t reaching a place where we never care what anybody thinks.

Maybe it’s reaching a place where we can care, feel uncomfortable, hear all those old thoughts bubbling up…

and not abandon ourselves because of them.

That’s what I did today.

I stayed.

I walked my dogs.

I came home.

And then I made a reel about the whole ridiculous thing because, really, what else was I supposed to do? 😂

There was a time when being unexpectedly seen might have sent me running.

Today, it gave me a story.

And maybe that’s another little piece of emancipation:

Not becoming fearless.

Not becoming perfectly confident.

But becoming free enough to keep walking while fear and discomfort come along for the ride.

Free enough to laugh.

Free enough to be imperfect.

Free enough to be seen.

Exactly as I am.

And if the universe has another lesson in authenticity planned for tomorrow…

I’d just like to formally request that it leave the television crew out of it.

— Amara Lee Shores

Emancipated Blooms